![]() When someone does something you don’t like, perhaps think of it as they are simply solving a problem in a different way than you would. Most important, that person makes mistakes, just like I do. When I feel critical of someone, I try to remind myself that the other person loves their family just like I do, and wants to be happy and free of suffering, just like I do. Repeat the mantra, “Just like me.” Remember, we are more alike than different.This takes practice, as our minds naturally scan for the negative, but if we try, we can almost always find something good about another person. Some people are better at hiding it than others.” Why not give others the benefit of the doubt? “Never underestimate the pain of a person," Will Smith said, "because, in all honesty, everyone is struggling. When someone disagrees with us or somehow makes our life difficult, remember that it’s typically not about us. After all, like that dog in the trap, we really don’t know the reasons for someone’s behavior. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak, or send that nasty email and do any potential harm. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode. We go into fight-flight-freeze mode and are unable to see the myriad possible reasons for another’s behavior. When we see a dog (or a person) that might bite us (literally or metaphorically), of course, we feel threatened. ![]() We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. What can we learn from this story? How can we become less judgmental? ![]()
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